I have high expectations for myself when in comes to school. I always have, sometimes to the point of unnecessary angst. Case in point, I have a vivid third-grade memory of waking my mother up in tears because I had forgotten to hand in some worksheets assigned for homework.
This year has been, for me at least, a rollercoaster of juxtapositions. It has been a year of global tragedy and personal difficulties, and also the year where some of my goals came to fruition. It has been the year in which I started grad school and avoided visiting my friends and quarantined three times and actually got sick once and attended online events I never would have been able to go to in person and started a new job and missed my grandmother’s 101st birthday and got the first dose of my vaccine and discovered interests I didn’t know I had. It has been up and down, and in the midst of all of it, I have not done as well as I would have liked when it comes to school.
My grades are, in fact, fine, but I would have liked to spend more time thinking. Would have liked to do more than skim the readings some weeks. Would have liked to send some more follow-up emails to professors’ feedback. Would have liked to not have had to ask for some extensions. But despite all of that, I am deciding that it is okay that I wasn’t perfect this year. I am telling myself that I did enough in this difficult year.
I am choosing to allow myself grace, which I think can be harder than giving it to others. And I am writing this post because I think the feeling of falling short is a common one this year, and I hope that you will join me in taking a breath and believing that you did enough.
Caroline Hron Weigle is an MLIS student at Wayne State University.