Motivation is something I have been thinking a lot about recently, and not just because two of my friends have become unreasonably obsessed with the Kelly Rowland song by the same name, despite the fact that the song was released at least a year ago. (Just a warning for anyone who may be at work and happens to be interested, the song errs on the side of Fifty Shades of Grey.)
The real reason I have been thinking about it is because I just don’t have any right now. Like none at all. For the first time ever, I didn’t hand in an assignment, knowing full well when it was due and how I should have completed it. The assignment was a pretty basic response to assigned reading that I needed to post on my ePortfolio. In the long run, it’s not going to affect my grade that much and in fact I’ll probably be able to ameliorate the situation pretty easily because my professor doesn’t actually grade my ePortfolio until the end of the semester; she just noted that it wasn’t there. But that makes it even worse. With such a simple assignment, why haven’t I been able to just do it?
At this point in my time as a library science student, I have been in school for the past year. It seems like it’s just enough time for the thrill and excitement of being back in school and in a stimulating environment to have worn off. What’s left for me after the thrill is gone is the realization that I’ve made a huge time and energy commitment, on top of a full-time job. I also realized that it’s going to take me longer than I had originally planned to finish my degree so the path ahead feels long and far away.
In addition, one of my classes requires a 25 hour library observation, over the course of the semester. I’ve worked it out so that I can observe a library in my neighborhood for an hour and a half a week. So far the observation experience has been interesting, and the librarian I observe has been incredibly helpful and friendly. An hour and a half a week has been a very manageable amount of time to observe, but it’s also been enough extra time in my mind to justify coming home at the end of the day and not doing anything that is in any way related to libraries.
Does anyone have any words to wisdom to get me out of this library school-related rut? Any big pictures ideas to remind me of why we all decided to pursue this degree and what there is to look forward to on the other side? The rational side of me knows that the time commitment and work and on-time assignments will be worth it but my emotional side still needs to be convinced.